11 Chapter Eleven: Thinking Again with Others
Peer Review
What is Peer Review?
Peer review is getting feedback from others to enhance and improve your draft.
Peer review can be very formal, like in a composition class where you have two or three other students read your essay draft and give suggestions on how to improve it, or in a work setting where you give it to a colleague or supervisor to review before sending it out to the intended audience (your boss, a client, or professional group).
It could also be more informal. For example, you could have your friend, who is an English major, look over your essay and give ideas or point out errors or inconsistencies. You might even use a campus writing center for feedback or an online tutoring center like Smarthinking or Tutor.com. You might also receive feedback from AI resources if that’s something that is permissible in your class or college.
You should understand that getting feedback is not the same as plagiarism or cheating. When you ask for a review, you are asking for a response from a reader. You should not ask someone else to “fix” or rewrite the paper for you. In the end, the choices you make are your choices as a writer.
Having someone else look at your writing is essential. You can write, re-think, edit, proofread, then write more, re-think more, draft more, edit more, proofread more, etc., and you will still miss errors in your own writing. Even wildly famous and acclaimed writers (especially famous authors!) like Stephen King and Toni Morrison have relied on others to help them revise, polish, and perfect their writing.
What It Means to Peer Review
So what does peer review entail? It means asking the right questions of your reader and being willing to accept constructive criticism. Many people hear the words critic, critical, and criticism and pick up only negative vibes that provoke feelings that make them blush, grumble, or shout. As a writer and a thinker, though, you need to learn to be critical of yourself in a positive way and have high expectations for your work. Having others see your work will help with this.
Here are some ideas a peer reviewer might use to help you improve your work in the re-thinking stage.
Re-thinking the big things:
1. Who is the audience and what is the purpose of this essay? Does it fit the content of the paper? The reviewer might point to places where the content could connect better with audience and purpose.
2. Is the thesis statement clear? Is it interesting (to the audience), specific, and well worded? The reviewer might suggest re-thinking the thesis to improve it. Does the thesis support the ideas in the whole paper? Does the thesis argue a clear point (in a persuasive or argument paper)?
3. Are the paragraphs well organized with a clear focus or topic sentence? Are they in logical order? Do the ideas in the paragraphs tie back to the thesis? The reviewer might suggest how to improve the paragraphs and organization.
4. Are there specific examples, facts, and/or support in the body of the essay? The reviewer might make suggestions for additional examples and support or research.
5. The peer reviewer could suggest two additional improvements that the author could make before turning in the final draft (like title, one, etc.).
6. The peer reviewer might ask: Am I laughing, thinking, being amazed, really looking at something in a new way, as I read this? What is the big take-away that I am seeing? Where in the writing do I lose interest?
Re-thinking language and grammar:
7. Are the sentences interesting, effective, varied and well-crafted? Are any sentences weak? Confusing? Awkward? Uninteresting? The reviewer might make suggestions for making sentences more effective.
8. Are any words weak, vague, or unclear? Do any words need to be defined? Are the words active? Are any words possibly offensive to the intended audience? The peer reviewer might point out ineffective and vague or unneeded words.
9. The peer reviewer might mark any grammar, spelling, or syntax errors on the draft itself.
Once you receive feedback from others (the more the better), then you can sift through it to see what is helpful. You might find contradictions at times: one reader might love your conclusion while another might think it’s “meh”. In the end, you can decide how to change and shape your writing.
The great thing about peer review is that it helps you look more closely at things. For example, you might decide parts of your conclusion are good. but you need to add a story at the end to engage the reader.
Sample quick peer review sheet:
What Peer Review Looks Like: An Example
Let’s look at the sample essay from Chapter Two: A Writing Process for Every Writer again.
Sample First Draft
I was a 35 year old single mother of two girls when I decided to go back to school. I wasn’t fired or downsized or anything like that. I just knew that because of the fact that I was working hard and barely making enough to make ends meat that I needed a change. Working parents can go back to school if they follow some simple tips.
A working parent should follow some tips to make their college experience easier. Here are some things I learned. Set aside time each day to work on classes. For me I had a break between my campus classes and I could study and do homework then. That helped allot. Then I would work after the kids went to bed on online classes since deadlines were at midnight. If I needed more time to study or do other stuff, I would wake up before the kids and do it then –with lots of coffee to help! I would also work on weekends while kids were at playdates or birthday parties or when they had a weekend with there dad. I also used the learning center. I am not great in math and the tutors there really helped me. Sometimes I would go 2-3 times a week right after class to get help. By the end of the semester, I didn’t need to as much. I also asked my kids to help out. They are 7 and 4 and can at least vaccum, pick up toys, and stuff like that. Jaylyn even made her own lunch before school.
Working parents face many challenges when they go back to college. From needing to work less to childcare issues. I needed to find a way to cut back on my hours at work to be able to go to school. Luckily, my boss was willing to do that. He let me go from 40 hours to 30 and change my schedule, but then our budget was really tight. I also had to worry about childcare. My oldest daughter was in 2nd grade and could do an afterschool program, but my youngest was in daycare and adding extra hours was expensive. I really had to think hard about whether or not I could go back to college.
I was able to overcome the challenges and go back to school. Like I said earlier, my work was willing to be flexible so I could attend morning classes. My kids and I made a bugdget and talked about how we could cut down on a few things to save money. I was also able to get some grants and loans to pay for college. The best thing was that I was able to take some of my classes online, then I could work at night after the kids went to bed, and I had more time to work and also be with my girls. Their was also the issue of childcare. I really could not afford to pay more than I was. Actually with reduced pay, I couldn’t even afford to pay what I was already paying. Then an angle appeared. My Aunt Joyce, who just retired, said she would take Bailey two days a week! That allowed me to cut down on daycare hours and make our budget a little better.
Going to school when you work and have kids is tough. Really tough, but you can do it if I could do it. I’ve been in school two semesters now and was on the honor role both times! With a little help and believing in yourself, you can go to college too!
Now let’s do some work on re-thinking it—asking critical questions and looking closely at the essay. This should include some feedback from others too. Note: the bolded red text are review comments.
Re-thinking the first draft
Need title (peer reviewer suggested something about Working Parents)
I was a 35 year old single mother of two girls when I decided to go back to school. I wasn’t fired or downsized or anything like that.Maybe too informal? Rewrite: I was not fired or downsized. Maybe talk about what my job was? Some of the peer reviewers asked that. I just knew that because of the fact that wordy—rewrite this—just because I was working hard and barely making enough to make ends meat meet—cliché? Maybe think of a new way to say this? that I needed a change. Need transition here—kind of abruptWorking parents can go back to school if they follow some simple tips. Thesis doesn’t mention challenges and overcoming them. Need to add that. Even though working parents face real challenges, they can overcome them and be successful.?
Need something hereA working parent Working parents should follow some tips to make their pronoun errors—make it parents/their college experience easier. Here are some things I learned. Set aside time each day to work on classes. For Awkward me example, I had a break between my campus classes do I need comma here? Check with writing tutor and I could study and do homework then. That helped allot a lot (maybe find a better word). Then I would work after the kids went to bed on online classes since deadlines were at midnight. If I needed more time to study or do other stuff, I would wake up before the kids add time? and do it then –with lots of coffee to help! I would also work on weekends while kids were at playdates or birthday parties or when they had a weekend with there theirdad. I also used the learning center. I am not great in math and the tutors there really helped me. Sometimes, I would go 2-3 times a week right after class to get help. By the end of the semester, I didn’t need to as much. I also asked my kids to help out. They are 7 and 4 and can at least vaccum use spell check!, pick up toys, and stuff like that too informal?. Jaylyn even made her own lunch before school. Need ending sentence. By following these tips, I was able to make school, work, and home work smoothly. Is this the best place for these tips? Peer reviewer mentioned that this might be better as the 4th paragraph.
Need a transition here?Working parents face many challenges when they go back to college. From needing to work less to childcare is this is sentence? issues. I needed to find a way to cut back on my hours at work to be able to go to school. Luckily, Maybe this should go in the next paragraph—about overcoming challenges. Talk more here about my job and what it is and how it was hard. Also maybe add a quote here—do some research on challenges of working parents? My instructor said we could use a couple of short sources if needed. my boss was willing to do that. He let me go from 40 hours to 30 and change my schedule, but then our budget was really tight. I also had to worry about childcare. My oldest daughter was in 2nd grade and could do an afterschool program, but my youngest was in daycare and adding extra hours was expensive. Maybe talk about how much she was there? Talk about the challenge of my schedule. Should I talk about their dad here? One of the peer reviewers asked about him but I don’t really want to add that.I really had to think hard about whether or not I could go back to college.
Need transition here I was able to overcome the challenges and go back to school. Like I said earlier, my work was willing to be flexible so I could attend morning classes.add the details here–My kids and I made a bugdget budgetand talked about how we could cut down on a few things to save money. Examples? Like we decided to only eat out once a month instead of once a week and the girls agreed to $3 allowance instead of $5. I was also able to get some grants and loans to pay for college. The best thing was that I was able to take some of my classes online,is this comma right? Check grammar site then I could work at night after the kids went to bed, and I had more time to work and also be with my girls. Their peer reviewer said it should be Therewas also the issue of childcare. I really could not afford to pay more than I was. Should I say how much? Actually with reduced pay, I couldn’t even afford to pay what I was already paying. Then an angle whoops—angel! appeared. My Aunt Joyce, who just retired, said she would take Bailey need to get the girls’ names in earlier in the papertwo days a week! That allowed me to cut down on daycare hours and make our budget a little better. Do I need a transition sentence here?
Going to school when you work and have kids is tough. Really toughfragment—but I like this. Figure out punctuation, but youget rid of yous because my instructor doesn’t like second person can do it if I could do it. I’ve been in school two semesters now and was on the honor role both times! With a little help and believing in yourself, you can go to college too! Kind of short conclusion. How can I make it more engaging? Maybe a more specific personal example?
Additional notes: Now you might also think about adding some sources. Look in library databases and credible online sources. For example, one might add into the margin of one’s draft a note to considers source about students who juggle school and work and family:
Some statistics about working parents: https://www.acenet.edu/Documents/Student-Parent-Data.pdf
Try to paraphrase some of this one.
Here’s another one about challenges and strengths of single parents in college: https://journals.psu.edu/mentor/article/view/61589
After all the review, you are ready to re-draft. This might not be the final draft, but the essay is much stronger than the first draft.
Example of Second Draft/Rewrite Based on Review Comments
Making College Work for the Working Parent
I was a 35 year old single mother of two girls, Jaylyn (7) and Bailey (4), when I decided to go back to school. Unlike some workers in the last decades, I wasn’t fired or downsized; I just knew that because I was working hard and barely making enough to take care of my family that I needed a change. I wanted a career that I liked and that made a good wage. I knew it would be difficult, but I also knew I was not alone. According to an American Council on Education study, almost 20% of undergraduate students are parents and “nearly 60 percent of student-parents work full time while pursuing higher education” (Yates). Even though working parents face real challenges, they can overcome them and be successful.
As many students know, working parents face many challenges when they go back to college including income, work schedules, and childcare. For example, I needed to find a way to cut back on my hours at work to be able to go to school. I was working 40 hours a week, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Friday as a clerk at a small auto parts supply store. This schedule left me no time to take classes except at night or on weekends, which would leave me no time to spend with my children. I also had to worry about childcare. My oldest daughter was in 2nd grade and could do an afterschool program, but my youngest was in daycare and adding extra hours was impossible. She already had to go to daycare five days a week for over 9 hours, and I was spending over $700 a month on childcare. If I had to cut hours at work and pay for college, I could not afford to pay that much for daycare. These challenges were almost overwhelming and again, I was not alone. According to the Office of Community Work-Study, Center for Service and Learning, at Indiana University–Purdue University Indianapolis, “Financial difficulties are a great concern of many single parents… In addition to paying for tuition, there is often stress related to future college loan payments. Another financial issue for these students is child care. Finding child care during the hours needed to work and go to classes can be difficult and very expensive” (Tehan). Like other working parents, I really had to think hard about whether or not I could go back to college.
Once I made up my mind to do it, I was able to overcome the challenges and go to college for a degree in nursing. First, I was able to change my work schedule. Luckily, my boss at the auto parts store let me go from 40 hours to 30 and change my schedule to work afternoons, so I could attend morning classes. The best thing was that I was able to take some of my classes online, so I could work at night after the kids went to bed, and I had more time to work and also be with my girls. Second, my kids and I made a budget and decided to save money by eating out once a month instead of once a week. My amazing daughters also agreed to lower their allowance from $5 to $3 each week. I was also able to get some grants and loans to pay for college. Third, I still had to tackle childcare: I could not pay $700 a month when I was cutting my income. Then an angel appeared. My Aunt Joyce, who just retired, said she would watch Bailey two days a week! That allowed me to cut down on daycare hours and make our budget a little better.
Once I was able to overcome challenges to start school, then I had to make college work. Being successful as a working parent student takes some work, like time management, using college tutors, and having kids help out at home. Working parents needs to set aside time each day to work on classes. For example, I had a break between my campus classes and I would study and do homework then. Then I would work on online classes for 2-3 hours after my children were in bed since deadlines were at midnight. If I needed more time to study or complete homework, I would wake up before the kids and do it then –with lots of coffee to help! I would also work on weekends while kids were at playdates or birthday parties or when they had a weekend with their dad. In addition, I used the college learning center. I am not great in math and the tutors there really helped me. Sometimes I would go 2-3 times a week right after class to get help. By the end of the semester, I didn’t need to as much because I was understanding the material. I also asked my kids to help out. They started helping with chores like dusting, vacuuming, and picking up toys. Jaylyn even made her own lunch before school. By following these tips, I was able to make school, work, and family run smoothly.
Going to college while working and raising a family alone is tough, really tough. However, if I can do it, any single parent can. I’ve been in school two semesters now and was on the honor role both times! Even know it’s difficult now, my family and I know the future holds some wonderful things: a better job and a better life. By overcoming challenges, any parent can go to college and succeed.
Works cited
“Revision Quotes.” 2018. Goodreads, 2025, https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/re-thinking.
Tehan, Lisa. “Advising the Single-Parent College Student.” The Mentor, 7 Feb 2007. The Pennsylvania State University. https://journals.psu.edu/mentor/article/view/61589.
Yates, Alyssa Stefanese. “Student-Parent Data: What We Know, What We Don’t, and How to Find Out.” American Council on Education, 2024, https://www.acenet.edu/Documents/Student-Parent-Data.pdf.
Using GAI for collaborative re-thinking
If your instructor allows, you may use Generative AI to help you revise. We put the original draft of the previous essay through Microsoft Co-pilot with the following prompt “Here is a draft of a college composition essay for a class. Suggest revisions to make the organization and focus better. Also suggest additional details and examples. “
Response from Copilot
Your essay has a strong personal narrative and provides practical advice for working parents returning to school. Here are some suggestions to improve its organization, focus, and content:
Revised Essay
Title: Balancing Parenthood and Education: A Journey of Determination
I was a 35-year-old single mother of two girls when I decided to go back to school. I wasn’t fired or downsized; I simply realized that working hard and barely making ends meet was not sustainable. I needed a change. Working parents can successfully return to school by following some simple tips.
Tips for Working Parents Returning to School
1. Time Management: Set aside time each day to work on classes. For me, having a break between my campus classes allowed me to study and do homework. This helped a lot. I also worked on online classes after the kids went to bed since deadlines were at midnight. If I needed more time, I would wake up before the kids, fueled by lots of coffee! Weekends were also valuable study times, especially when the kids were at playdates, birthday parties, or with their dad.
2. Utilize Resources: I frequently used the learning center, especially for math, where tutors were incredibly helpful. Sometimes, I went 2-3 times a week right after class. By the end of the semester, I didn’t need as much help.
3. Involve Your Kids: My daughters, aged 7 and 4, helped out with chores like vacuuming and picking up toys. Jaylyn, my older daughter, even made her own lunch before school.
Challenges Faced by Working Parents
Working parents face many challenges when returning to college, from needing to work fewer hours to childcare issues. I had to cut back on my work hours to attend school. Luckily, my boss allowed me to reduce my hours from 40 to 30 and adjust my schedule, but this made our budget tight. Childcare was another major concern. My oldest daughter was in 2nd grade and could attend an afterschool program, but my youngest was in daycare, and adding extra hours was expensive. I had to carefully consider whether I could afford to go back to college.
Overcoming Challenges
Despite these challenges, I was able to return to school. My work was flexible, allowing me to attend morning classes. My kids and I created a budget and discussed ways to cut down on expenses. I also received grants and loans to help pay for college. The best part was being able to take some classes online, which allowed me to work at night after the kids went to bed, giving me more time to work and be with my girls. Childcare was still an issue, but my Aunt Joyce, who had just retired, offered to take care of Bailey two days a week. This reduced our daycare costs and helped balance our budget.
Conclusion
Going to school while working and raising kids is tough, but it is possible. I’ve been in school for two semesters now and made the honor roll both times! With a little help and self-belief, you can go to college too.
________________________________________
Additional Suggestions
1. Introduction: Start with a hook to grab the reader’s attention. For example, “Returning to school as a single parent might seem daunting, but it can be a life-changing decision.”
2. Examples and Details: Add more specific examples and details to illustrate your points. For instance, mention specific subjects or projects that were particularly challenging or rewarding.
3. Transitions: Use transitional phrases to improve the flow between paragraphs. For example, “Another important aspect to consider is…”
4. Conclusion: Reinforce the main message of your essay. Emphasize the importance of perseverance and the rewards of achieving your goals.
Feel free to adjust these suggestions to fit your style and voice. Good luck with your essay!
Works Cited
Microsoft Copilot. “Response to a query about essay revisions.” 18 Mar. 2025. Copilot interface.
This response from Copilot might give you some new ideas on how to revise or rethink parts of your essay. If you do use suggestions, make sure to cite your use of GAI and not to just copy and paste what it wrote.
Media Attributions
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- Sample Quick Peer Review Sheet
The process of having others read and provide feedback on your writing to improve its quality.
